Preparing: Worries

Ask the Mr., and he will assure you that he has no worries about getting married to me. That's lovely, and I'm not worried about marrying him either.

However, I do have nerves about how I will do as a wife. It's a radical change of lifestyle. I'm not going into this venture half-heartedly; it's not like moving in with a new housemate, except one that I sleep with... this is about doing life together, making a home: things I've never done before.

So what are my specific worries?

The first few months - adjusting to life without working away from home. I might get a job later, but to start with, I will need to stay home to manage the move. He will have to go back to work after the honeymoon, but I can take a break and be present to manage moving to a new house. Manage builders, if necessary. Do DIY things like painting.

Funny enough, I'm not all that worried about this initial time. It'll keep me busy. (though I do wonder about how physically demanding this will all be, given that all I've ever done for work involved sitting at desks!)

But that time will end. At one point, we'll have a new house, and we'll live in it. Then what? I worry about how well I'll do at keeping the house clean and tidy. Establish a routine, stick to it consistently. I think of my gran, whose house was always spotless and she took care of any messes immediately. Then I think of my own (rented) accommodations... usually tidy, I'm not a messy person, but dirt will accumulate in corners and behind things over time. This is excusable when one works all the time and only comes home to sleep, but when my work is keeping the house, it isn't ok.

Will I be bored, being at home? Ought I go find a job? (Mr. is happy either way, and thinks - and I agree - that as long as there aren't kids, it's a good idea for me to bring in extra money) Or, as my friend S joked, will this all be a moot discussion because I'll return from honeymoon pregnant?

Who knows... God does. I'm just a worrier.